warning this post is more political and tackles heavier subjects, im also upset in it and it shows
:33c person first or identity first?
:33c thats a very common debate ngl, im gonna write this from the disability perspective since its the community we s33 it the most in, and the context i f33l the most complex about
BTW THIS IS ONLY MY PERSONAL OPINION AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS TRUE FOR ALL OTHER PEOPLE, NOR AS OUR GENERAL OPINION AS A SYSTEM
:33c also i will be talking about both online international english terminology and chilean terminology, since they differ in interesting (to me) ways as someone involved in both. knowlage of chilean spanish is required for this reading
:33c the wildly accepted terms that are taken in standard are and taught to nondisabled people: (english) disabled person, (chile) persona con discapacidad. s33 this first one in chile we dont say persona discapacitada (i do call myself that but thats not what we are talking about rn) its frowned upon. we also say persona en situación de discapacidad, which im not sure what the english analogue would be
:33c persona con discapacidad is a not wanting to be defined by your disability and wanting to be s33n as a person. but disabled person is wanting to put it in the forefront, an im disabled, thats part of my life that impacts all of it, i wont deny it, and its not something i should be ashamed of
:33c i prefer persona discapacitada for that reason, but persona con discapacidad is the collective agr33ment and thats more important than my personal language
:33c theres also the whole condición vs sindrome vs trastorno in mental health spaces that as someone whos both autistic and mentally ill makes me so very fuckin mad, in ways i cannot write down properly because the anger it produces me is borderline irrational. but i'll try:
:33c TRASTORNO NO ES UNA MALA PALABRA, DEJAR DE LLAMARLE TRANSTORNO POR QUE NO QUIERES SER COMPARADO CON NOSOTROS NOS HACE DAÑO A TODOS, NOSOTRAS LAS PERSONAS CON TRASTORNOS MENTALES SOMOS INCREIBLEMENTE VULNERABLES SOCIALMENTE Y ESTOS CAMBIOS AL LENGUAJE SOLO REFUERSAN LA CREENCIA DE QUE HAY ALGO MORALMENTE MALO CON NOSOTROS AL QUERER DISTANCIARSE, querer ser "uno de los buenos" ¿no?. Y MI AUTISMO SI ES UN TRASTORNO, NO ES "UNA FORMA DE VIVIR DISTINTA", NO ES "UNA DISCAPACIDAD SOCIAL", EN EL MUNDO MAS UTOPICO AUTISTA ESTO SEGUIRIA SIENDO UNA DISCAPACIDAD PARA MI. ANDATE A LA CTM CON TU ""CEA""
:33c and i could go in my whole condición and sindrome and trastorno but im not in the mental state for that since that basically academia done by some people with too much time and a special interest in psychology. and im not actually getting into the whole autism language ESPEACIALLY not in chile, les copiamos a los gringos y se tiran unas pajas mentales que no le afectan nadie en la vida practica, theres like seven different words for special interest because of that, thats why we stopped attending to autism m33t ups in our city. and online autism spaces are kinda even worse, we dont engage at all anymore
:33c finally less upsetting part where i get to talk about myself.
:33c i kinda f33l weird about calling myself enferma mental or trastornada since it f33l like im calling myself a slur iykwim. those words have a very negative conotation that amounts to either self deprecation or an act of activist reclaiming when used as a self descriptor. mental illness is looked at so weirdly. i have to be very careful when talking about it to others. like theres no true word for delusion in spanish only delirio which literally mean delirium and not delusion
:33c so im a persona con, i wanted to say personas trastornadas or las trastornadas earlier, but i couldnt make myself k33p it, so im a persona con trastornos mentales. yo soy bipolar y esquizoafectiva, pero tengo que ser una persona con trastorno bipolar, cachai lo que estoy diciendo? tengo fibromialgia, dolor cronico y fatiga cronica, but i suffer from chronic fatigue and have chronic pain.
:33c its more like the language i use is more for the listener than for myself, which i find depressing. its even contraintuitive as someone who thrives in microlabels and self descriptors
:33c language can be both a tool of oppression and liberation, as a qu33r person i already knew that, but it took me being tossed into the disabled world to actually understand it.
:33c para algunos ser una persona con discapacidad es una forma de liberación, para mi es represión. pero una persona discapacitada puede aguantarse ser llamada una persona con discapacidad, una persona con discapacidad es herida cuando se le dice discapacitada, asi que yo hago ese compromiso y acepto ser una persona con discapacidad para ellos
:33c this is depressing, and political, but i f33l like i n33d to let it out there to the public as my testimony.
:33c damn im sad now, well i was already f33ling down when i started writing this and it did help me process some f33ling but oh well. and it wasnt too doxxing so thats good
:33c i guess this sets how this blog works, this is a legit blog where i write whatever the fuck i want within self imposed constrains. im also upset now, i think it shows, this is something i take to heart since is something i have to k33p dealing with once i finish writing this anyway
:33c bye till later i guess